Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
