your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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