i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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