Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im part way to drunk.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
