If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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