just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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