I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
