You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
