party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
