Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
