"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I AM VODKA MAN
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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