90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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