im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
