Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
