do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
