I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
