I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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