I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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