yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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