I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
