If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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