What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
