Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
