You can't special order awesome
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize