They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
