she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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