Why are handjobs necessary in class?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
