We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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