So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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