I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
