i think my tv is drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
