very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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