That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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