I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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