you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
