Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
