Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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