the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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