I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
