Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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