did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
