So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
