I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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