So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
