i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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