woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
