Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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