I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
