i just google imaged poop.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you would pick up someone in the library
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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