***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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