I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
