you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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