What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there's paper in my vomit.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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