I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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