hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
