does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
