who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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