If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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