what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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