I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
