a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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