We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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