I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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