Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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