I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
