well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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